MartiniPundit

Random thoughts and insights – always shaken, never stirred

Square of Darkness

leave a comment »

I followed a course along the river, heading deep into enemy country. I wore no camouflage – I flew the flag, I proclaimed my side with a large “W.” On and on I went, prepared to carry out my mission whatever the cost. The enemy was all around me – I could tell. Suddenly, a Volvo cut me off and I caught a glimpse of tie-dye behind the wheel. He was gone.

The river snaked ahead like a main circuit cable plugged straight into the heart of my objective. As I drew closer, there were bodies everywhere, sunning themselves on the banks of the river like those without a thing to do.  Liberals – a strange insular tribe.  I would need to be careful.

Hiding my craft deep within the brick and mortar underbrush of the Harvard Square parking garage, I disembarked and proceeded on foot. I could feel the eyes of the natives on me, but I was allowed to pass unmolested. Soon I saw the objective – Wordsworth Books. Pausing to gather courage, I entered and was immediately assailed by the totems of the enemy – a large display of books on Bush hate.  “How to hate Bush,” “Why I hate Bush,” “Let’s Hate Bush Together” and so on.  But there, strangely, unexpectedly, in the midst of all the anti-Bush screeds was him.  The face of John Kerry, the digits of his right hand extended to me in a terrifying blur. No one was looking, and I deftly plucked the book off the rack – I had scored a copy of “Unfit for Command.”

I proceeded to mingle with the natives looking at other books.  Perhaps no one would notice the incriminating tome (much smaller than expected actually).  When the coast was clear, I made a beeline for the registers where one of the tribesmen stood guard. As casually as I could, I handed him the book and a credit card.  Damn! Why did I hand him the Platinum card?  Fearing I had blown my cover, I waited in breathless anticipation as he reached for a …

… pen to hand me to sign the slip. “Have a nice day, sir” he said, handing me the bag. “You too,” I said, as I left realizing I had traveled deep into enemy country, and still received 30% off because the book is #1 on the NYT Bestseller list.

Advertisements

Written by martinipundit

September 1, 2004 at 3:50 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: